The Rocket Man (I Think It's Gonna Be a Long, Long Time)

One of my favorite Detroit bloggers, Greg Eno, posted an insane assessment of the Roger Clemens', er steroid/HGH hearing the other day. I laughed at the post, thought it was great, and got inspired. One of the best movies ever is A Few Good Men with Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise (among others). The scene where Colonel Jessup and Lieutenant Kaffee have their final showdown is among the best courtroom scenes in the history of motion pictures. It led me to think about a showdown between The Rocket and any of the Congressmen, which I posted as a comment on his Blog. I don't think he'll mind if I repost it here:

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressmen: I think I'm entitled to them.

Clemens: You want answers?

Congressmen: I want the truth!

Clemens: You can't handle the truth! Son, we live in a world that has batters. And those batters have to be pitches to by men with balls. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Mr. Congressmen? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Ramon Santiago and you curse the Yankees. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that Ramon Santiago's bat, while weak, probably saved games. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, wins games...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at your Capitol parties, you want me on that mound. You need me on that mound. We use words like HGH, PED, 'roids...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent playing a game. You use 'em as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps while I'm working out, then questions the manner in which I win! I'd rather you just said 'thank you' and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a bat and stand in the box. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

Congressmen: Did you order the HGH?

Clemens: (quietly) I did the job you better than you.

Congressmen: Did you order the steroids?

Clemens: You're goddamn right I did!