THANK YOU

35-1/2 Hours in Key West

'24

“Squalls out on the gulf stream

Big storm comin' soon

Passed out in my hammock

God, I slept till way past noon

Stood up and tried to focus

I hoped I wouldn't have to move far

Sure could use a bloodymary

So I stumbled next door to the bar”

— JB, ‘74

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

At the counter, the nice lady from American Airlines said, “You can’t check bags to Miami, it’s closed.” I thought she was joking. She wasn’t. No Thanks! I thought. So we pulled out a few things to take, stuck them in a carry-on and I sprinted the luggage back to the car. And sprinted back. We headed to the gate.

Start the rhyme, readers: “We headed to the gate, but we were late. We were three minutes late to the gate.” No Thanks!

Back to the counter. This lady from American was truly a nice lady. Not that the other one wasn’t, but she wasn’t. No possible way to get us all on one flight. But we could do this, do that, and possibly this. We didn’t want to lose the Air BnB or the rental car, so I was elected to jump on a flight to Key West, via Chicago and Miami. We weren’t sure what the others would do YET but I once again sprinted to the car and grabbed my luggage as I was like Lewis & Clark and heading ahead of the gang.

When I got back to Lori Heitmeyer, Steven Lott, and Tonya S Lott, and went to put stuff in my bag from the carry-on, we discovered that the blue bag was Lori’s and I would be taking her luggage with me. It would be okay because we would all reunite in a few hours at the latest.

I sat on the tarmac for quite a while (why be specific about time — we had nothing but time) and they de-iced the plane a couple times. And ran out of de-icer and had to reload. The timing had to be pretty precise to hit the flight from Chicago to Miami and even more precise from Miami to Key West.

And the plane to Chicago eventually left, and luckily the plane in Chicago to Miami was delayed about an hour. Otherwise … well, you know. But that didn’t do anything for the arrival time in Miami and the subsequent leave time also in Miami. We dropped down in Miami about 25 minutes before the flight would leave to head to Key West.

It certainly couldn’t take the 23 minutes from Gate D12 to Gate D60N, could it. Oh yeah it could. I ran, jogged, sprinted, walked fast and anything else I could think of to make it to the gate on time. As it turned to 2:16 I was at Gate 50 and knew it wasn’t happening, but just in case, I kept going.

I am 52. This was not the best workout for someone my age, but alas, I had work to do. I got into Gate 60 and it is probably the largest gate in airline history. I saw a sign that pointed to additional 60s and went through the door. Into a huge room with numbered D60 gates going all the was to 12. The room was packed.

PACKED. There was no Gate 60DN. Was I in the wrong place? Was I in the wrong city? Where was I? I ran over to a place where a dude seemed to have a little downtime and in between announcements, I interrupted him. I’m like:

“So I know I’m three minutes late and it’s not my fault. Is there any chance the plane hasn’t left yet. I’m going to Key West.”

“It’s probably gone, but I’ll check.”

Whew, back to a nice American worker. I don’t mean that the way it sounds, I mean American Airlines, just in case that wasn’t clear earlier.

Suddenly he turned and walked away.

“Sir, sir, you were helping me. Where are you going?”

Panic.

A nice lady says, “What’s wrong?”

Oh, don’t get me started …

“Well, he was helping me and just turned and left.”

She asked what I needed and I told her. She said that these other people she pointed at were trying to get on the same plane. Get in line with them and we’ll see what we can do. Nice American Airlines lady. The plane was indeed closed, but they opened it back up and we headed into Gate D60N territory.

Which then branches even more, but I was hoping to make it. The cool people from Pennsylvania who I was waiting with held the door about 60 yards ahead and waved for me to “Come on!”

Onto the plane, we lightened the load with some small talk and a couple jokes. These nice folks had been waiting an hour on the tarmac. Apparently, it wasn’t all our fault though because the pilot crew was stuck in customs. I assumed that they were already at Miami International. After another hour and some great conversation with our new friends, we were about ready to fly.

But what about Steven Lott, Tonya S Lott, and Lori Heitmeyer? Good question …

Well, friends, that’s a great question.

Lori was able to book a flight to Charlotte then Miami and I would drive up and pick her up from Miami International. That would be easy. I would land in Key West, grab the rental car, and head back north over the Overseas Highway. It would be dark, so I would have to watch for the Keys Deer when the time was right, but it would be all good.

Steve and Tonya would be going to Dallas, spending the night in the airport and flying out to Miami, then Key West in the morning. Easy peasy. The gang would be back together soon.

Lori sat on the plane in Grand Rapids and watched the plane get de–iced a couple times. She was waiting to take off for Charlotte when all the sudden she got a text that said the Charlotte to Miami flight was canceled.

She said, “I don't want to be stranded in Charlotte tonight. So somehow she was able to get off the plane and onto stand by with the other two who were with us, Steve and Tonya.

Remember, they were going to Dallas. I don’t know if Steve was thinking about the last time he had gone to Dallas, in December, the NFL robbed the Lions of a victory three times in five minutes that crazy December night. I know I was thinking about it.

So, the three of them were able to leave Grand Rapids and head to Dallas. They had been in Grand Rapids all day while I had been flying. I suppose my luggage was still on a plane that was headed to Charlotte and Miami. At least I have a pair of shorts and a shirt.

I’m wearing sandals next time I fly to Florida.

It’s Friday evening, March 22, 2024. So, Steve, Tonya, and Lori are all either on their way to Dallas by now, or there. I’m not sure. I have checked into the place at Mills Place and picked the rental car and I’m just watching the weather turn ugly. I didn’t know it rained like this in Key West in March. I went to Five Guys and got a gut bomb, but that ends up being a story itself. Pro tip, after a stressful day of flying, do not add grease.

The other travelers sort of sleep in the Dallas airport and Steve and Tonya head to Miami on Saturday morning. Lori did not make the stand-by flight this time, but she was first stand-by on a direct flight from Dallas (that’s where she was, afterall) to Key West, leaving at 8:30 a.m. There were “for sure” seats on another direct flight, but …

Ah, hell, that 8:30 flight was delayed to 12:20, so the other, new, different Texas American Airlines lady said, “Let’s get you on this flight.” So, Lori is supposed to fly at 12:30 directly to …

Ah, Thank You for this new announcement: nine minutes before Steve and Tonya are ready to fly to Key West, the flight gets canceled. Not delayed. Not postponed. Canceled. Thank You very much. No rental cars available — but possibly a later flight.

At least we have nothing but time at this point.

We are now 36 hours into the trip and we still haven’t been to Irish Kevins …